1/2 cup MAYONAISSSE
3 Jalapenos, one sliced into rings, the others halved lengthwise.
4-6 strips of bacon
Salt, pepper, garlic powder.
Fires of winterdoom
WHAT YOU DO
Preheat the oven to a god defying temperature of 450. When it reaches that temperature, instantly reduce it to 300. \m/
Conjure the fires of Mount Doom on your stove top, get your pan nice and hot.
Salt, pepper, and garlic your roast. Put it in a large frying pan. Sear the shit out of it
When it is seared, put it in a baking dish. A big one. Or whatever. Top the... top with mayo, more salt, more pepper. Put bacon and the sliced jalapeno on the mayo
Put it in the oven for about 4-5 hours.
In the meantime, perform the ritual of Grak'nor, have some tea and read from the Forbidden Texts of the winterdemon Gygax.
With an hour or so left to go, start on the sides, if you plan on having any sides, if not, then go take a nap or something. Shit.
I found that mashed cauliflower with plenty of garlic and butter worked great with this, but anything works. Except cake. Cake would not go good with this.
When it is done, and cooked to whatever eternal temperature that porcine flesh is supposed to be, pull it out. Let it rest for like 10-20 minutes.
Slice and enjoy