Sunday, January 5, 2014

Poverty is no Match for the Thunderous Roar of Keto'ganar.

A Diet of Flesh and Vegetables needs not be expensive. In fact, unless you fuck up, its really not. You don't need fancy bacon, cream cheese, cheese, or heavy cream. These things are nice, but not necessary. Let's take a look at the grimness of eating keto on a budget.

Ground Beef.
The fattier, the cheaper. 70/30 seems a good bet, it makes good burgers, good chili, good everything. It shrinks a bit when you cook it, but what are, some kind of hero?

Eggs. The Incredible Frostbitten Abortions of the Raptor
Eggs are cheap, nutritious, and delicious. Make a Fritata, an omelete, fry them. Shit.

The Leg Quarters of the Raptor Circling the Skies Above Winter Storms
These cheap cuts are usually about $.69 a pound. That's five pounds for under $5. Spice it up and fucking roast it you fucking coward.

Grim and Frostbitten Vegetables
These are usually about a dollar a bag, unless you're an idiot who buys the expensive kind. Why would you do that? Broccoli, cauliflower, gren bens, etc.

Canned Remains of the Demonic Demon of the Depths
Two words: Tuna Salad. Shit.

Don't forget big, cheap cuts of pork and beef. Throw em in the crock pot or smoker. Summon the fires of all the hells, praise Grak'nor, and perform his rituals. You'll do fine, kid.