Turkey Meatza of Blackest Fowlness

Crimson sunlight streams through black clouds, illuminating the faces of the Gornaeth, the ones who have succumbed to the temptations of the Serpentfolk of Uthcanan. The citizens of Ketogazar must stand vigilant against the Serpentfolk of Uthcanan, or else it is their doom. The Gornaeth become twisted, bloated, snot and pus constantly pour out of their nose and leak from their eyes. They have become everything they have ever feared. 

To combat this, the meatza must be consumed in haste. Fear not, citizen of Ketogazar, for it is easy to grow. 

Reagents:

1/2 pound of lean turkey
1/4 cup pasta sauce
Whatever toppings you like
An oven

Ritual:

Heat the hellforge to 400

Take the meat. Beat the meat.
Once the meat is beat, shape it into a thin circle. Think burger.
Cook 15 minutes.
Take out.
Add sauce and toppings. 

Put back in hellforge
Cook another 15-20 minutes.
Consume

Meatza of the Hellbeast Glazanor

From the bowels of the hellforge, the flesh of the longpig is transformed into the delicious meatza of blackest evil.

Reagents
1 pound lean ground pork
1 tsp ground cayenne pepper
1 tsp salt
.5 tsp paprika
.25 cup pizza sauce
1 cup mozzarella or whatever cheese
4 slices of bacon, cut up
Mini pepperoni, as much as you can
1 can black olives
1 can mushrooms
2 jalapeños

The Ritual
Preheat the furnaces of hell to 450
Mix the meat with the spices and spread over a nonstick spray sprayed baking sheet
Bake for 10 minutes.
Take out of the hellbox
Spread the sauce, apply the cheese
Now add the toppings.
Put back in the oven for 20 minutes
Sacrifice a virgin and bathe in his/her blood

Invoking the Unholy Glory of Spectral Cosmos and Pizza

INGREDIENTSSSS

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1 Pound ground flesh of bovine
1 pound ground sausage. I used the infernal majesty that is Farmer Johns HOT sausage. He farms demons for the flesh harvest.
Half a bag of cheddar cheese. Or more.
Pepperoni.
A box of sliced fungi
1/2 cup pasta sauce.
Greek olives.
Black olives.
Italian seasoning
Red pepper flakes
Garlic powder.
Salt and pepper.

WHAT YOU DO

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Preheat hellbox to 350
In a pan brown the ground beef and sausage with plenty of garlic powder, red pepper flakes, salt, pepper, italian seasoning. I could have just said spices.
Scoop the fried flesh into a baking dish.
Spread pasta sauce on top of the meat using your sacrificial dagger of Gagnoth.
Saute the mushrooms and olives in the meat pan.
When done, dump it on the sauce covered meat.
Cover the thing with cheese.
Add a layer of pepperoni.
Put in the incinerator for 30 minutes.
Take out and enjoy.

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Stats are for the Intermittent Fasting version. You may portion this accordingly. \m/

Pizza of the Secretions Profane

INGREDINTSS

The krvSt
An 8 oz bag of Mozzarella cow secretion
A half bag of Cheddar bovine secretions
3 Unfertilized chicken abortions
A shake or 666 of garlic powder

The toppings.
Tomato sauce. Choose the lowest sugar one you can get.
The other half of that bag of cheese.
Sliced jalapeno
Mushrooms of the snow covered northern forests
Pepperoni or bacon or sausage or all three
The remains of those who offend you

WHAT YOU DO:
Set your incinerater to 450
mix the krvst ingredients together. Spray the shit out of a non stick baking sheet. Spread the shit out so its flat.
Bake for like 15 minutes. If its done,  take it out.

While that is cooking,  saute your toppings.

Spread the sauce over the crust. Put on the profane secretions of Cheddar.  Dump your toppings on.

Turn your broiler on. Summon the ancient signs of the elder gods and put the pizza under the broiler for about 5 minutes.
Slice and give thanks to the dark lord who without him you would be dumb.