Turkey Meatza of Blackest Fowlness

Crimson sunlight streams through black clouds, illuminating the faces of the Gornaeth, the ones who have succumbed to the temptations of the Serpentfolk of Uthcanan. The citizens of Ketogazar must stand vigilant against the Serpentfolk of Uthcanan, or else it is their doom. The Gornaeth become twisted, bloated, snot and pus constantly pour out of their nose and leak from their eyes. They have become everything they have ever feared. 

To combat this, the meatza must be consumed in haste. Fear not, citizen of Ketogazar, for it is easy to grow. 

Reagents:

1/2 pound of lean turkey
1/4 cup pasta sauce
Whatever toppings you like
An oven

Ritual:

Heat the hellforge to 400

Take the meat. Beat the meat.
Once the meat is beat, shape it into a thin circle. Think burger.
Cook 15 minutes.
Take out.
Add sauce and toppings. 

Put back in hellforge
Cook another 15-20 minutes.
Consume

Filling Peppers with Nocturnal Hellfire

Ingredientsss:
6 Greenbell peppers of unholiness
2 pounds ground beef
1 can diced tomato
2 jalapeno peppers, chopped in the ritual of Gal'takor
Garlic
Red Pepper Flakes to taste
Italian seasoning because fuck it
Sea salt
Shredded cheese
1 12oz box of mushdooms
A tablespoon of butter makes the medicine go down

What you do:
Preheat your incinerator to 350
Brown the meat
Add the jalapenos and mushrooms
Add can of tomatoes
Spice it up
Cut the tops off of the peppers
Tear out their guts
Put some cheese in the bottom
Spoon the beef into the green peppers
Top with cheese
Bake for 30-45 minutes
Consume.

A Return to the Plains of Antiquity from the Vapid and Horrible Plains of Zamora.

The Holidays. Fuck the holidays. Xmess isn't very kvlt anymore. Even with the frost and grimness of the outdoors.
But I'm back from the Plains of Zamora, ready and determined to follow the path of Keto'nor, god of flesh and blood and heavy cream.

The weightloss challenge at work starts on Monday. I'm going to enter the keto zone (already have) and lose this weight I gained over Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years and then some.

I started this job almost two years ago at my lowest weight of 235.
I am now sitting at 285.
Fuck.
50 Fucking pounds.
Alright. Time for Keto.